My body hates food. Well, my immune system and digestive system hates food. I had problems with this my whole life. Although I went to many many doctors and more than one hospital because of it it was never diagnosed properly. Eventually, through cleanse and elimination diets I discovered the main issues with my digestion were gluten and dairy. I also developed symptoms of an allergy to peaches as a kid (rashes around my mouth…eventually they started causing a swollen sore throat as well before I cut them out of my diet entirely out of fear of worse reactions). An allergy to kiwi followed a few years ago. This year I started getting actual allergy symptoms to dairy (on top of the stomach issues it’s aways caused). So, now I’m in the process of becoming accustomed to completely avoiding dairy (instead of just avoiding lactose and taking medicine for the stomach pain if I accidentally ingest some).
Gluten was the hardest to get use to not eating. It hides in food and it causes a lot more than just stomach pain. It effects my focus and energy levels as well as causing headaches and worse allergy and sinus problems. My entire immune system goes haywire when I’m eating gluten. This isn’t uncommon in autistic individuals. I believe I have Celiac disease but have no money for the medical tests and they’re not really necessary. Even if I don’t have it I DO have some kind of digestive issues that are improved by not eating gluten (there are many disorders including IBS that can be improved by avoiding gluten and dairy). As well as the gluten effecting my mental concentration. So, regardless of if I have celiac or not, I’m much better off without eating gluten.
One of the common gluten free flours, sorghum flour, is also on the list of things I can’t eat. I have no idea why but it gives me extremely painful stomach cramps. So, it requires me to keep an eye on the ingredients in gluten free pre-made foods and flour mixes.
Another food related issue that I have yet to be able to eliminate from my diet (I already am so limited in what I can eat….especially when on a tight budget this is already extremely challenging) is artificial dyes. Red Dye #40 is especially a problem. I get skin rashes and it makes my skin tingle and twitch. Sometimes my lips itch and my eyes twitch. It’s very strange reactions that I don’t understand but when I kept notes and traced the pattern it definitely is connected to the food dyes. I avoid Red Dye #40 as much as possible but other dyes seem to also cause smaller issues (including causing my hands to shake). I looked it up and an odd, unexplained reaction to food dyes isn’t uncommon in autistic people. It’s just really hard to eliminate them completely. My budget is super tight and just eliminating gluten and dairy has been difficult. So, I’m trying to cut out the dyes but it is a slow process.
It will likely be impossible for me to really eat the diet I should be eating until I am more financially stable. I do the best I can, now.
My body really seems to dislike food. I can only eat certain things, in small amount, slowly. If I eat to much or to fast I still get stomach aches. Whether this is a side effect of celiac related intestine damage or something else, I don’t know. I only know that all of these issues make me have a love/hate relationship with food. I enjoy good food and I like to cook and love to go out to eat but sometimes when I’m already stressed and overstimulated it is just to much. There is so much I can’t eat. It is especially bad when I’m out and busy and haven’t eaten and need to and I can’t find anything to eat. It’s times like that when I wish I could eat fast food and ramen because otherwise I just don’t have the energy to eat at all thats when I hate food. That’s when I just wish I could go without eating.