*I’m writing this for the Love Not Fear Flashblog for Boycott Autism Speaks. The prompt is to write what the phrase “Love Not Fear” means to me.
Writing about love is always challenging. Anything involving emotion is challenging to me. I always feel like it isn’t my place to try to explain emotion. I often have a hard time interpreting my own emotions. Even when I know what I feel it isn’t always easy to explain it to other people. So, I was unsure of where to start with this blog. So, I decided to look for inspiration and my result was interesting.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love”
This is John 4:18 from the Bible. When I searched for the words “love” and “fear” this verse was my first result. I don’t agree with it. I think fear SHOULD come along with love. If you love something or someone you are naturally going to fear losing it. I believe it is this fear of loss that keeps us engaged to what or who we love. Isn’t that what causes people to take things for granted? They stop believing that losing it is a possibility. Or maybe they just don’t realize they care if they lose it or not? Either way, once that fear is gone the person may stop trying. They may stop being really present in the relationship (or in the activity) that they had previously been enthralled by.
So, another reason why I have trouble with the phrase “Love Not Fear” is because I don’t think it should be an either/or. I think we need both in our relationships….to a degree. Obviously, I don’t think we should always be intensely afraid of losing what we love. That would make us all completely dysfunctional. It’s more that I believe we need to keep a fraction of that fear. We need to realize that we don’t want to lose what we love and we need to keep putting in the effort to keep the things and the people we love. We should always show them that we love them. And it seems like to keep doing that we need to keep a smidgen of that fear of their loss.
Of course, some people have to much of that fear and that is what makes them try even harder to convince people that they DON’T care and that they aren’t afraid of losing them. To much fear is definitely not good. I think it is a balance. We need a lot of love and a little fear (just enough for us to stay engaged and present) for a healthy relationship with anyone or with anything that we love.
These are my initial thoughts anyway. Perhaps, I will re-read this later and have a completely different opinion. I’m really not the best at writing about emotions. I may not even be explaining this the way it is in my head. I prefer to stick to writing about subscriptions boxes, movie reviews and Doctor Who. For now though these are my thoughts on the phrase “love not fear” and I think it’s best to leave this as my entry as opposed to waiting and editing it later. So, this is my entry.